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Texas in July
Funny things
scary, some of these are actually true, not just tall Texans bragging.


* The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground

* The trees are whistling for the dogs.

* The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* Hot water now comes out of both taps.

* You can make sun tea instantly.

* You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

* The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

* You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

* You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

* You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

* You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 A.M.

* Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

* You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

* The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

* Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

* The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Ah, what a place to call home.
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