| Texas in July |
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scary, some of these are actually true, not just tall Texans bragging. YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . . * The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground * The trees are whistling for the dogs. * The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. * Hot water now comes out of both taps. * You can make sun tea instantly. * You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. * The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. * You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. * You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. * You actually burn your hand opening the car door. * You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 A.M. * Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" * You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. * The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. * Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs. * The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home. 
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